rain drops

There I stood in the rain
the rain drops
as big as my tears, as cold as my heart
always lead along, but never taken away
always what people want, but never what they want to keep
this is my life.
Still I do not live in fear.
Once I had the bottle of pills in my hand
Once I let the stress, pain, and loneliness take over
Laughter....
The little one that I promised to take care of laughed.
Just. Once.
And the fear mealted. The pills were dropped. I decided to live.
Still, there I stood in the rain.
The heart I locked away, to hide and protect forever escaped.
A three day love affair with a hope and a dream.
A three day love affair with fear
not my fear, the fear I banished from my life
found its way back in the form of a blonde beauty
to lead me along, but never take me way.
Damn you feelings
Damn you heart
Damn you love
Damn you hope and dreams
and
Damn you fear
But keep the rain
It reminds me of the reality that will always be
my life.