the journey (part 5)

We all know that when I can't find the words to say out loud I write them.

27, I am 27 years old, and instead of things getting easier they get harder.

Still I know that I must stand up and face the world with my head held high.

At 5:38pm today I got horrible news at the same time from two different people.

This life just keeps on bitch slapping me, but I refuse to go down.

***I have decided to not believe in a God because one who is supposed to be all about love would never put one single person under so much stress***

Now back to the point at hand, and how I feel.

I know that I can't cry now because I would have no idea what I would be crying for.

I can't cry tonight because it very well may be for you.

I refuse to shed a tear with guilt and regret on the end of it.

Now dreams. It's okay to have dreams. Martin Luther King had one.. it worked out pretty well right?

So is it wrong for me to think that one day I could be happy? Is it unrealistic for me to vision better things for myself? Is it wrong for me to think that an idea, or a long time feeling could never blossom?

I know I can't cry now because that tear will cement the wall around my heart.

Neither you nor anyone else is allowed to make it harder for me to love and be loved.

I refuse to shed a tear with guilt and regret on the end of it.

When you really love someone, you want to see them happy.

So you shut-up, sit back, and let them live their life.

Even if you wish you had a chance just to see......

Well what ifs never happen.

I know that I can't cry now because I would have no idea what I would be crying for.

I can't cry tonight because it very well may be for you.

I refuse to shed a tear with guilt and regret on the end of it.