Dream Catcher

Dreams can have so many different meanings. Most people forget them before they wake. Some people have the same re-occurring dream.

For me it's a nightmare.

The same thing death and murder.

Waking up to this almost every morning can be harsh on the soul. After researching this subject it seems clear, that it is simple their is a negative in my life and I want to make someone go away. Not necessarily kill them off I suppose.

All of this gets me thinking about an ex-boyfriend that I had. To this day I think that he is the worse person I have ever met. And I remember having a dream, well nightmare, about being murdered while I was lying right next to him.

First sign. Right?

He was mean, arrogant, always right, never ever listened to what someone else was saying, he lived his sad, boring life on this pedal stool. He was quick with words, and it seemed as if he HAD to belittle people and make them feel dumb and small just to prove something to himself. If we were having a fight their would be no reason to debate back, because he was ALWAYS right. You were dumb therefore your opinion, feelings, and thoughts were void.

Thinking back on it. I never really got to know him because he didn't know himself. When he and I hung out we could only do what he wanted. So therefore he never got to know me. The only time I smiled or laughed was when other people were around or when I was not in his presence.

I escaped that relationship. I promised myself I would surround myself with people who looked at me as an equal. Who wanted to get to know me, who would ask me what I wanted to do every once and a while, and enjoyed laughing with me. People who had a favorite ice cream flavor we could eat together, favorite song we could dance to, favorite place to go, where we could just sit in silence and enjoy each other

The dreams stopped.

Now all of a sudden they have returned more intense than when I was in a committed relationship. So the question is how do I make these nightmares stop???

I am already dealing with so much, and trying so hard to fix my life right now. The last thing I need is for my dreams to start haunting me during the day.

I am reaching out my hands trying to find love and support, but I keep getting the exact opposite. Since when did we as the human race lose compassion, heart, and become almost robotic. I know I have to do this on my own, but love and support should be there. Well at least that is what I thought.

I am prepared.

Just like I didn't let my ex win, nor will I let whatever is causing these dreams to haunt my sleep and my mind when I am awake.

Battle Armour is on...

"I am not afraid to keep on living , I am not afraid to walk this world alone"

" Well is it hard understanding

I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone" My Chemical Romance, Famous Last Words