Sleep Overs

We all have moments of desperation pure and utter helplessness.

Mine caused me to move to another country for a bit.

Lost head in a fog I needed to get away.

Displace myself from the situation so I see it more clearly.

I remember when I first got here 45 days ago every time I sat down to tackle my life I have a panic attack.

I had to fix myself before I could start with my life

It took me even longer to realize that is what I needed to do. 

I had to be selfish and think about me.

What do I want?

What would make me smile today?

What would help me be a little less anxious?

I also had to realize, I needed to find my center again. 

Meditate

Breathe

Dance (even if it's alone)

Today I  am getting things done. Even though I have to take constant breaks because I can feel  myself getting overwhelmed. 

What helps a person cope with this crappy disease? It's actually a delicate balance. As much a person needs to be alone to find themselves again, they also need friendships that are accepting, welcoming, and non-judgmental so they don't FEEL the loneliness. 

I was so fortunate to have a friend reach out to me and take me in to help me. I am and will always be forever grateful. He gave me the kind of friendship he knew how to give, it was a little hard for me at first, me being a creature from the earth. My friends and I hug, chat, laugh, get drunk together. All amazing 

CRAIC

(if you don't know what that is.. look it up)

*It's like all of my friendships up to this point have been one big sleep over*

However, the other night I went out dancing with a couple of friends that I met here and one looked at me and said 

"I am so happy you are having a good time, I'm happy you got to dace!"

In that instant I knew I had what I needed. It's crazy how different things work for different people. And how everyone possesses different qualities. But the one thing that we all need to have common between us is:

UNDERSTANDING

*One friend kept asking me questions about what was going on with me and what I was doing. I had to explain to him I couldn't talk about it cos' it was overwhelming. 

He stepped back and understood.*

We all have moments of desperation pure and utter helplessness.

With a step at a time and an open mind. 

You can get through anything.