Airplane

CONTROL

Like this pose. In our life we have to have balance and control.

As I was doing a yoga pose today called 'Airplane' I could not keep my balance because I did not have control over my mind. It just would not sit still and concentrate. It got me thinking about things. 

There are many types of control good and bad. I think we all know what the good kind is as well as we all know where the bad kind will lead. 

VIOLENCE

So many stories about people getting abused and it always started out with someone who is controlling. 

For a while I felt trapped. And I felt as if I was being looked down upon because I wasn't going out and meeting people in this strange new place. Then I started to regain my confidence. Like the adult that I am I would go out and about alone, meet people. And felt as if I could keep the good parts of my life secret. You know my happy sanctuary that I could hide in when things started to get bad.

 Words kept echoing in my head as I was trying to balance this afternoon. My goal was to fix myself. Become more of myself, the person that got lost. But my progression keeps getting interrupted. Like there is something in the universe that wants to keep holding me back, and push me down at the same time.  So in order to not lose control I have to regain control. 

I have placed myself in an imaginary bubble. I keep my heart, soul and feelings locked up. They are almost fully healed and I intend to keep them that way. To keep control I have to follow the 

'F that Stuff" rule:

Life is too short to let trivial things that won't matter in a few days, weeks, months bog you down

I have to hold steady and stay strong. And pray the power of the good in the universe is on my side. And violence will not come my way. 

I hope that my bad dreams will not come true. I hope that I won't get hurt. 

I hope that I can steady my mind and find peace. 

I CONTROL MY FATE